If you have ADHD, try practicing "chaotic discipline"

Quick update: I’m writing a book all about chaotic discipline! But because of that, I need to take my own advice and scale back on 1:1 coaching. If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one, you can join the waitlist here and I’ll send you an email as soon as slots open back up.

I started feeling better once I realized that my ADHD requires chaotic discipline not regular discipline, meaning some days I’ll be on fire and some days I need to be a potato, and being a potato some days helps me be on fire other days.

For years, I struggled with—and hated myself as a result of—the traditional concept of discipline. You know the one where you’re supposed to wake up at the same time every day, maintain a strict routine, be consistently productive. It’s the kind of model that is an absolute nightmare for an ADHD brain and our energy levels, and it’s one that made me consistently feel like a failure.

Then I had an epiphany: My ADHD brain doesn't need regular discipline—it needs what I like to call chaotic discipline.

What is Chaotic Discipline?

Chaotic discipline is rooted in the acceptance that some days, you’re an unstoppable force. Your brain clicks into gear, and you accomplish more in three hours than many people do in three days. The ideas flow, the tasks get checked off, and everything just works.

And then there are the potato days, which are days when your executive function decides to jump in the garbage, and the most you can do is the absolute bare minimum. I used to feel so much shame about these days—I viewed them as concrete evidence that I couldn’t do what “normal” people do; that I was destined to feel like a lazy failure for a lifetime.

But then I realized: These potato days aren't failures at all—they're an essential component of my chaotic discipline system.

Energy Rhythms: The Balance Between Fire and Potato

Potato days and fire days are kind of like the cycle of the seasons. Just as nature doesn't maintain the same energy year-round—moving from the vibrancy of spring and summer to the quiet restoration of winter—our brains have their own natural rhythms.

During potato days—as long as you accept them (more on that below)—your brain recharges. It processes the information and activity from the high-energy periods, just as the earth repairs and rebuilds during winter rest. These recovery periods aren't just helpful—they're essential, even productive. Because without them, your energy would deplete, and those productive days would become increasingly rare.

Accepting the Potato Days is the Key

The real change happened when I stopped fighting this natural rhythm and started working with it instead. These days, when I feel a potato day coming on, I don't resist because I've learned that the more I accept these potato days, the more restful they actually become.

Think about it—when you're trying to rest but fighting it the whole time, are you really resting? That internal battle of "I should be productive" versus "I can't focus right now" is stressful and exhausting. It's like trying to nap while constantly checking the clock, worried about oversleeping. The worry prevents the very rest you're trying to get.

Now, I’m not saying ignore your very real responsibilities or deadlines because you’re having a potato day—most of us don’t have the luxury of doing that. But what I AM saying is give yourself permission to only do what absolutely needs to be done that day, and let other things wait until you have more energy.

When you fully accept the potato days, you need fewer of them

Without the weight of guilt and self-judgment, your brain can actually sink into that restorative state it needs. The rest becomes deeper, more effective. You're not burning mental energy on shame spirals or forcing yourself to appear busy. Instead, you're allowing your mind to process, integrate, and recharge in the way it naturally knows how.

I've noticed that ever since I started fully accepting my potato days, my fire days have become more frequent. And that’s because when I'm not fighting the rest, I often need less of it. It's like the difference between a fitful night's sleep and a deep, peaceful one—you simply need fewer hours of the quality rest than you do of the disrupted kind.

This acceptance has also helped me better recognize the early signs of needing a potato day. Instead of pushing myself until I crash, I can often sense when I need to slow down. This awareness helps me plan better and actually makes both my productive and rest periods more effective.

Moving Forward

If you're someone with ADHD who's been struggling with traditional concepts of discipline and productivity, maybe you don't need to fix your discipline. Maybe you just need to recognize and embrace its chaotic nature.

Your potato days aren't failures—they're part of your success story. They're the necessary rest periods that make your "on fire" days possible. And that's not just okay—it's exactly how it should be.